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What is bondage
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What is bondage?
Here’s how to start exploring the world of bondage safely.
If you’ve ever felt butterflies at the idea of being restrained, held down, cocooned, or contained—or have maybe wanted to do one of those things to someone else—you might consider exploring the world of bondage.
What is bondage sex https://tittydropvideos.com/? There’s a lot to explore. The first letter in the BDSM acronym covers a diverse range of activities. Finding out what aspects of bondage are appealing to you and learning how to pursue them is something that anyone can do, but first, a little background about what it is and how it’s done.
What is bondage?
Bondage is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining someone. Though it falls under the very big umbrella of BDSM, bondage can be a “vanilla” activity. Whether erotic, aesthetic, spiritual, or what’s known as somatosensory—another way of saying it’s done because of the physical sensations it elicits—bondage, like many other activities encompassed by BDSM, is what you make of it.
What is a bondage kink? It can manifest in a few different ways—but basically, it’s about constraining in some kind of way. Some of the more common bondage devices include rope, cuffs, leather restraints, saran wrap, tape, sleepsacks, and cages. A bondage scene can incorporate sex, sadomasochism, roleplay, or be an end in and https://www.camedu.org/blog/index.php?entryid=22517 of itself.
Aesthetic bondage includes practices like Kinbaku, the Japanese art of rope bondage that is often referred to as Shibari by English speakers.
Kink bondage can use a rope to put bottoms through torture or into stressful predicaments, to immobilize, restrain, or position them according to the top’s (or rigger’s) wishes.
Somatosensory bondage is experienced with a mind toward changing perceptions of touch, edudoctors.com pressure, pain, temperature, position, movement, and vibration.
More than just rope
You might be familiar with rope bondage—the aforementioned Japanese art of Kinbaku, or Shibari—but bondage can take many different forms. Leather and chains are often associated with bondage, but there are other tools and activities that do what they do: induce constraint and inhibit, limit, or control the senses. These include sensory deprivation tanks, ball-gags, masks, spreader bars, and vacuum sacks.
How do I learn about bondage?
BDSM is the conscious, risk-aware decision to engage in activities that can be dangerous. Like any other kind of BDSM, bondage of any kind can be life-threatening when done without safety precautions and proper training. Even when done properly and with the right protocol, bondage activities can cause permanent physical damage or death.
This is why educating yourself with books or by attending workshops put on by leather organizations like the Lesbian Sex Mafia is so important. Rigger and amateur gay historian Daemonumx recommends online tutorials from Shibari Study as a beginner’s guide to rope bondage and a great place to start exploring the world of bondage safely.
Bondage doesn’t have to stay in the bedroom
If you’re interested in exploring bondage a bit more, you don’t have to restrain (literally) it to bedroom activities. You can try out bondage both inside and outside of a sub-dom (or submissive-dominant) dynamic. One way to do so, which leans a bit into the “DS” part of BDSM, is to wear collars or chokers (which, of course, don’t constrain your windpipes), or an outfit that your partner chooses for you.
How to explore bondage in new ways
As previously mentioned, bondage doesn’t have to look one specific way. And as with all kinds of sex, it’s about exploring what is most exciting to both you and your partner, while keeping up good communication throughout. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments, to stop if something feels uncomfortable, or to call it off and just cuddle instead. You don’t have to go from 0 to 100 immediately, either.
Get your furniture involved
You might imagine bondage to involve complicated ropes and leather accessories (which, https://soloesunalien.com/blog/index.php?entryid=650 to be clear, it certainly can), but it can be as simple as restraining your partner to a bedframe or chair with a scarf or handcuffs. Just don’t lose the keys.
Make the most of suspension
Okay, not everyone can install a sex swing in their home. But if that option is available to you…you might as well make the most of it, no?
Take safety precautions
Sex is intimate and vulnerable in itself—and that’s especially true for any form of intimacy that falls in the BDSM wheelhouse. Trying something new in the bedroom is not something you should take lightly; have a conversation with your partner before trying bondage and take the time to make sure you’re on the same page with your boundaries.
And while you’re at it, take the time to consider basic safety precautions. If you’re doing any tying-up, don’t tie too tight—you should have space for at least two fingers between the rope, harness, whatever, and the skin. If you’re using ropes, scarves, etc., keep a pair of scissors in reach just in case of emergencies.
Safewords are an important practice in BDSM. Land on a word that you and your partner can use to know when to stop, or consider the traffic light system to let each other know if you’re reaching your limit; green is go, yellow means you’re almost at your limit, red means stop. There’s really no such thing as too much communication.
Go into it with an open mind
If you haven’t explored much in the realm of BDSM, bondage can be very intimidating! But it’s important to remember that bondage doesn’t have to look one specific way; as previously mentioned, it can be as simple as tying your partner’s hands to the headboard, maybe blindfolding them, and going to town. If you want to stick with something as straightforward as a simple hand restraint, nobody’s stopping you—and no one’s forcing you to try more complex or intense forms of bondage either. To each their own!
How to talk to your partner about bondage
When one partner has experience with bondage and the other doesn’t, it’s a good idea to have an open, judgment-free conversation about it. If you’re the one who’s done bondage before (or the one who has more of an interest in trying it), explain why you like it, what you’ve done, and what you want to do. It’s great if your partner is open-minded and willing to try something new, but if they’re not, you have to be willing to accept their boundaries , too. At the end of the day, respect is a big part of intimacy, and that goes both ways.
Condom access through the ages.
A brief history from contraband contraceptives to casual sex.
Maybe you’ve restocked your condom stash from the supply of single-use prophylactics on display outside your RAs dorm room. Maybe you grab a handful of rubbers from a bin every time you visit your favored local dive bar. Perhaps you’ve had the same box of Trojans in your sock drawer since puberty. In any case, no matter your methods of prophylactic procurement, it’s no secret that condoms are widely available across the country—and often, they’re even free .
That wasn’t always the case though. In the 18th century, the idea that you might reach an arm blindly in any direction and land on a complimentary condom was all but ludicrous. So, how did casually distributed contraception come to be? And despite our current near unlimited access, why are we using them less than ever?
Contraband Contraception
You may be surprised to learn that contraception was around long before the 20th century. In fact, throughout the latter half of the 1800s, condoms were pretty widely available. You could find them in pharmacies, doctor’s offices, https://yds-online.com/spotlight/discuss/index.php/community/profile/milagrosmargare even mail-order catalogs. But in 1873, all that changed with the passage of the Comstock Act—a decree that made it illegal to send any article “for the prevention of conception” through the mail (for ethical reasons). Soon after, contraception became far more difficult to locate—and deeply stigmatized to sell. So naturally, the business moved underground. Entrepreneurs like Julius Schmid built condom “start-ups” vending rubbers of all kinds in coy packaging calling them things like sheaths, skins, or “rubber goods for gents” rather than tools for preventing pregnancy. And while they couldn’t legally advertise , they were still doing substantial business under the table.
‘Bring our boys home.’
By the time World War I was underway, the health hazards of unprotected sex https://cumshotsgif.com/ had become obvious: Circa 1917, nearly 380,000 American soldiers had been diagnosed with some form of VD (costing the U.S. more than $50 million in treatment)—which gave way to a full-on epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases. Fortunately, that gave the government cause to start treating contraceptives like legitimate healthcare essentials: In 1927, the military’s senior medical officers started promoting condom distribution and educational programs for members of the army and navy. Free of charge, condoms were dispatched amongst military men—and as a result, there was a notable decline in STIs—which made the American military among the first major U.S. organizations to support the normalization of condom usage (at the time, the Catholic church was not pleased. Actually, they’re still not pleased).
A 1936 Ruling
In 1932, American birth control activist Margaret Sanger arranged for the first official U.S. shipment of diaphragms from Japan, which U.S. customs wouldn’t allow. Fortunately, that gave way to a 1936 ruling from the federal appeals court claiming that the federal government could not interfere with any doctor’s right to provide contraception to their patients. And by 1938, over 300 birth control clinics were providing contraception (condoms included) to women who couldn’t afford it, free of charge.
Condoms behind bars
In 1937, by the time World War II had arrived, to fight venereal disease, the FDA instituted national standards for condom testing—which both helped to legitimize the industry and allowed for quality control amongst condom producers. And for soldiers, that meant sets of three condoms sold for ten cents at “pro stations” placed around army bases.
If you consult military travel guides from the war, alongside famous attractions and churches, you’ll find a guide to “Pro Stations,” each marched with a little devil.
That said, even with new sanctions, for those not at war, the taboo around condoms remained. Rubbers were stigmatized –– which meant vendors didn’t want to put them on display. So instead, at bars and pharmacies, you’d find funny little countertop display cases designed to hold condoms –– complete with bars, or *modesty doors* to ” protect women and children from the scandalous condom tins inside. ”
Condom as the most popular form of contraception
Here’s the good news: Even while condoms weren’t kosher socially, business was still booming. On the commercial side, sales were doing just fine: From 1955 to 1965, 42% of Americans of reproductive age relied on condoms for birth control, and prophylactic production doubled between 1939 and 1946.
The AIDS Crisis
When the AIDS crisis struck —the New York Times first reported that the disease could be sexually transmitted in 1981. In turn, the surgeon general proposed a push for greater condom promotion programs, but Reagan (among many others) opposed, claiming we ought to still preach abstinence—a decree that was dripping with homophobia.
Condoms go mainstream
Fortunately, though, condom companies across the country were still advertising in mainstream media. They were mailing informational pamphlets to young Americans. And around that time, condoms were newly for sale at all kinds of commonplace retailers: supermarkets, Wal-Marts, concert venues.
STD & HIV rates go down
In 2003, ONE began releasing their individually wrapped, round-packaged condoms—and in cities and states across the country, various initiatives were launched to increase access. HIV/AIDS rates had lowered dramatically since the early ‘90s, and local health care systems were finding that the costs of free condom distribution were far smaller than those of the health care bills for folks who contracted the virus. There was no hard and fast rule at play—and https://elearning.ims-schulungen.de still, condom distribution varies geographically—but in major coastal cities, especially New York City and San Francisco, it became entirely commonplace to find gratis condoms in any major social venue.
Present tense prophylactics
In recent years, while public discourse around sex has certainly skyrocketed, condom sales have not. In fact, from 2007 to 2017, condom use among U.S. high school students fell from 62 percent to 54 percent, according to the CDC. The CDC also reported that, in 2017, there were 200,000 more diagnoses of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis than the previous year. And according to a 2019 survey conducted by Cosmopolitan and non-profit, Power to Decide , 60% of respondents admitted they rarely or never use a condom—and 50% said they’d never (EVER) used one. Now, it would seem obvious that this is the result of more readily available methods of birth control. The prevalence of IUDs, hormonal patches, and “the pill” quells fears of unwanted pregnancy—and it would seem that that particular safety net makes it easy to indulge in coitus sans contraception (without all the guilt). But the numbers don’t lie: Whether or not we’re seeing a rise in unwanted pregnancy, we are being flagrant with our sexual health by nixing condoms from our regimens. We’ve come a long way since *modesty doors.* How can we do the condom legacy justice?
How to have great phone sex.
Here’s our maudern guide to giving good aural.
Long-distance relationships can be tricky for many reasons, not least of which is that it can be difficult to keep the sexual spark alive. And while the thought of it might make you cringe, phone sex https://gifacefuck.com/ is an excellent way to keep those home fires burning.
What is phone sex, exactly? That’s up to your interpretation—but basically, it’s any kind of dirty talk over the phone. It may or may not involve the removal of clothes, intimate touching, taking and sending photos, the use of toys, costumes, etc. Really: To each their own. The best phone sex is phone sex that you and your partner equally enjoy, www.32acp.com and it can require a little bit of experimentation to determine what really gets you both off when you’re not even in the same room as each other.
That said, if you’ve never done the digital dirty before, you might be wondering where to start—so consider this a guide on how to have good phone sex, whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or not.
Amp up anticipation.
Especially when it’s not a regular thing, it can be awkward to bring up the topic of phone sex out of the blue. Instead, give your partner a little hint that it might be on the cards via a flirty text telling them you can’t wait to hear their voice tonight or that you’ve been thinking about them all day. Or, since it’s much easier to say something via text, you could even get straight to the point and tell them that’s what you’re planning—that way you both have all afternoon to think about it. You can even think of it like a date; it’s something to look forward to.
Don’t forget to set the mood.
Even though you can’t be with your partner physically, you can still set the mood to be a little more romantic. Dim the lights, ditch those sweatpants, put on something that makes you feel desirable (unless, of course, sweatpants actually do make you feel sexy), and light a candle for a little bit of ambiance.
You’ve got to get creative.
The more detailed and vivid you are with your descriptions, the more you’ll stimulate your partner’s—and your own—imagination. To make it easier, ask leading questions, like how they want you to touch them, where they want you to put your tongue, etc. Or start with a “confession” about something you’ve always wanted them to do to you and then describe it in detail.
Brush up on your grammar.
Oh, but grammar isn’t sexy, we hear you say? Well, phone sex is a whole lot better when you use active verbs to describe things—suck, twist, stroke, tickle, pull, thrust, lick, caress … you get the picture.
Expand your vocabulary.
Grammar is important; so, too, is vocabulary. If you’re not much of a talker in bed, you might want to brush up on R-rated lingo that you don’t feel silly saying. Think about how a word feels in your mouth (metaphorically, in this instance); what’s your preferred slang word for a penis? Vagina? Breasts? Chances are, their proper medical names won’t sound the most natural or sexy when you’re talking in bed.
Read aloud.
Reading can expand your horizons. And when it comes to phone sex, it can save the day when you’re not sure what exactly to say. If you have a long-distance lover, you might enjoy reading an erotic novel together over the phone, but poems work great, too. If you’re a history buff, start here , or if you want something a bit more romance, find more about erotica writing here . Bonus: As you read, you’ll get a better sense of sexy grammar and vocab—so if, and when, you do decide to try out some dirty talk yourself, you’ll be well more equipped to let the words flow.
Let the fantasies fly.
Since you won’t need to worry about the actual physical logistics, phone sex is the perfect opportunity to indulge your wildest fantasies . So say, for elearn.skywalkdrobotics.com example, you’ve always wanted to get it on in a restaurant booth, or up against the library stacks—things that, you know, could get you arrested for public indecency. Phone sex gives you the chance to go wild with that fantasy without fear of getting a criminal record. Plus, when you’re describing a fantasy scenario, it gives you a little bit more to work with description-wise—so if you’re nervous that you might not have the creative streak to have great phone sex, working with an imaginary setting can be helpful. For instance, if you’re telling your partner how badly you want to take them to a fancy restaurant bathroom, you can set the scene: Would you lock the door? Would you set your partner against the sink? Or would you both squeeze into the stall? It doesn’t have to feel like you’re in Creative Writing 101, but working with a scene can help loosen you up.
Try roleplaying.
Not only does location not matter when you’re having phone sex, but you can also take the opportunity to take on a wholly different character with some roleplaying. Whether you’ve always dreamt of getting it on Game of Thrones–style , or you have a hankering for a sexy doctor/patient encounter, sometimes pretending to be someone else can actually make you feel less self-conscious. Roleplaying can also help keep things moving because you have a scenario to follow, rather than just trying to think of things to say off the top of your head. You could begin by setting the scene and describing your character’s personality before moving into the more sordid side of things.
Play it like a game of tennis.
Just as sex IRL should be a reciprocal thing, make sure you take it in turns to do the talking. And like you would in any good conversation, try to respond affirmatively to what your partner is saying. The occasional sigh, mmm-hmmm, moan, or heavy breathing will do—just remember that since they may not be able to see you, you’ll need to let them know what’s working.
When in doubt, just whisper.
Trust us, pretty much anything can sound sexy if you whisper it slowly and keep your voice low (try it now, saying “I’m going out to buy some milk and bread,” and you’ll see what we mean). Of course, you might want to practice it beforehand, so that you feel comfortable with it. Another trick to warm things up is to start by reading a passage from an erotica novel out loud—well, in a whisper—and then transitioning into your fantasies. Talking slowly can also be helpful, from a seduction point of view and on a practical level: It gives you a little more time to think about what exactly you want to say next.
Revisit the past.
Think back to a time when you and your partner had really hot sex—perhaps you joined the mile-high club , or went for a literal roll in the hay at that cute little farm stay in the Hudson Valley. Phone sex is a great opportunity to relive that experience and describe exactly what it was that made it so hot. You can also embellish a little to make it even sexier—after all, it’s your fantasy. Alternatively, you can look forward to the future: What are you going to do the moment you see your partner next? (Or, in a more fantasy version of real life, what would you do?)
Set your boundaries
Phone sex, as previously mentioned, is a great way to explore some of your wilder fantasies, like role-playing. But it’s important to establish what, exactly you’re comfortable with; just because you and your partner aren’t engaging in physical intimacy doesn’t mean that everything is on limits.
Of course, you might not know that you have a boundary until it’s been crossed—and https://cutelariahk.com.br your partner has no way of knowing that you don’t like something unless you tell them. If they use a name you don’t like or say something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can redirect them clearly, without completely stopping them— Cosmopolitan calls it a ” detour .” You can do this by having a safe word, or by simply saying, “Let’s go back to when you…” Debriefing with your partner about what you liked and what you didn’t like is a good way to know that you’re on the same page for the future.
Have fun.
If you’re not used to talking dirty, phone sex can feel awkward and a little bit cheesy. So just roll with it and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourselves, but be careful not to make fun of your partner’s attempts at it in a way that might make them self-conscious. Remember: it might take a little practice for it to feel natural, but that doesn’t mean it has to be something that’s totally off the table.
Need some ideas for your foray into phone sex? Our beginner’s guide to talking dirty is a good place to start.
Sex & cinema: iconic on-screen firsts
From the earliest female orgasm to Hollywood’s initial, groundbreaking sex scene.
Sex on screen https://creampiesgif.com/ is hardly taboo in the era of Love Island and OnlyFans. We’re all but used to a little full-frontal nudity on our primetime television shows –– and not just in the post-marital “making love” sense. In the past two decades, we’ve entered a new age of cinema: We’re witnessing forms of straight, queer and interracial intimacy. We’re following trans protagonists as they embark on sexual, coming-of-age journeys of their own. We’re witnessing kink culture in new and exciting ways.
For careked.com every great step forward in the ways sex is depicted both on television and in film, feellavish.com though, there was a trailblazer –– some starry-eyed creative taking a chance on whether or not an American audience was ready to witness newly emboldened (and often utterly truthful) depictions of sex in this day and age. That’s why we scoured the internet in search of all of history’s most iconic on-screen firsts, from interracial intimacy to full-frontal nudity. Someone had to walk so Meg Ryan could run –– by which we mean, perform a full-scale female orgasm while seated at a diner in When Harry Met Sally .
First on-screen kiss:
The May Irwin Kiss, 1896
It should come as no surprise that the first cinematic kiss took place between a Victorian couple in this old-school film depiction of a Broadway stage play.
First *erotic film*:
Le Coucher De La Mariée, 1896
1986 was a hot and heavy year for the film industry. Following the medium’s first-ever on-screen kiss was the first formally documented erotic film, which centered on a newlywed couple enjoying their wedding night. Sure, there’s no dead on intercourse (we’re talking 19th century here), but we do see the bride undress behind a screen while her husband watches and it is, well, erotic.
First on-screen sex scene:
Ecstasy, 1933
While not exactly raunchy by modern standards, this early 20th-century film stars a young Hedy Lamar –– and it was certainly ahead of its forebears at the time of its release. Even better? It also depicts the first-ever on-screen female orgasm.
First on-screen male nudity:
I Am Curious (Yellow), 1967
This racy Swedish number was wildly influential in the U.S. specifically due to its sultry nature: Thrillingly enough, it’s generally acknowledged as the first example of full-frontal male nudity.
First on-screen female nudity:
Inspiration, 1915
This silent film stars Audrey Munson, who poses in the nude for an artist –– which is true to form is that, at the time, Munson worked professionally as a nude model who just so happened to be cast in the occasional Hollywood movie.
First on-screen trans nudity:
Transparent, 2017
This killer ABC drama stars trans actress, Alexandra Billings –– who plays a close friend and confidante to the show’s protagonist. She’s depicted fully in the nude early on in the show, while her boyfriend gives her a massage, making television history in the realm of openly celebrating trans bodies.
First televised interracial kiss:
Star Trek, 1968
We have Star Trek to thank for the first televised interracial kiss, which took place in an episode titled “Plato’s Stepchildren.” In the episode, Lieutenant Uhura and Captain Kirk are pressured to embrace by a team of aliens, and it aired just one year after the Supreme Court struck down states’ bans on interracial marriage.
First interracial movie kiss:
The Crimson Kimono, 1959
While a handful of interracial kisses made it to the big screen around this time, many depicted white actors, made up to look “ethnic”. That said, 1959’s The Crimson Kimono was the Hollywood production to feature an actual interracial kiss: between Japanese-American James Shigeta and Victoria Shaw.
First on-screen lesbian kiss:
L.A. Law, 1991
In a 1991 episode entitled “He’s A Crowd,” L.A. Law stars Michelle Green and Amanda Donahue share a kiss after a major elearning.ims-schulungen.de workplace success. While it did break new ground, plenty of folks reference the kiss as a stunt, being that neither character ends up as a lesbian (and said kiss occurred during sweeps week).
First on-screen gay kiss:
Dawsons Creek, 2000
In the season 3 finale of the oh so iconic Dawson’s Creek, we see queer history being made when Jack (Kerr Smith) makes the dramatic journey to Boston to declare his love for Ethan (Adam Kaufman) –– after which they share a stunning, romantic kiss for the first time on network television.
First interracial sex scene:
100 Rifles, 1969
This popular action flick starring Jim Brown and Raquel Welch features a steamy hotel sex scene –– just one year after television’s first interracial kiss.
First lesbian sex scene:
Personal Best, 1982
From director-screenwriter Robert Towne, this major, mainstream production centered around a young (hot) athlete (Mariel Hemingway) who falls in love with her teammate (Patrice Donnelly) –– and, well, the rest speaks for itself.
First televised lesbian sex scene
: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, 2003
This cult-favorite serial ran for seven seasons –– and in that final season, we witness none other than the first-ever lesbian sex scene in broadcast TV history, which takes place between characters Willow and Kennedy who have long maintained a heated romantic subplot.
First cinematic gay sex:
Another Country, 1984
Ultimately about an affair between two boys at a strict British boarding school, this ‘80s flick follows a young Rupert Everett and his dashing love interest, Cary Elwes. The sex itself is cut, throughout, with flashbacks and cinematic transitions, all of which render the scene….a bit evasive. But, in reality, this has long been the norm. In fact, it’s oft-cited that 2019’s Rocketman , the Elton John biopic, is the first-ever major Hollywood motion picture to display an authentic gay sex scene.
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