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On being asexual
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On being asexual.
The sexuality spectrum is nuanced and fascinating, but being asexual isn’t as commonly recognized as other sexual orientations https://celebporngifs.com/ like gay, straight, bisexual or even pansexual.
What is asexuality? According to the Human Rights Campaign , asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction or interest in sex. Asexuality exists on a spectrum—so a person who identifies as asexual may experience a total, partial, necrc.org or conditional lack of interest in sex.
Contrary to what many people believe, asexuality isn’t a choice or behavior (as opposed to celibacy, where people choose not to have sex for various reasons). As Julie Sondra Decker outlines in her 2015 book, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality , it can be hard for an expert to diagnose you as asexual. That said, there are certain traits that can help you identify yourself as such.
Signs you might be asexual
Common signs you might be asexual—also known as “ace”—include:
You lack any interest in sex at all.
You don’t find yourself sexually attracted to anyone—even someone you are in love with or romantically attracted to.
You masturbate but aren’t stimulated by the idea of sex with another person.
A study published in The Journal of Sex Research found that at least 1% of the adult population is asexual, and, as with any sexual orientation, everyone’s experience of being asexual is different .
Asexuality versus demisexuality
Demisexuality and asexuality are different—though demisexuality exists on the spectrum of asexuality. Basically, people who identify as demisexual typically only feel sexual attraction to a person after they’ve already formed an emotional connection with them. To be clear, this is a need, and not just a preference. It doesn’t mean that a person wants to get to know you before they start getting physical—it means that they don’t feel sexual desire unless there’s an emotional bond established.
Asexuality vs. aromantic
People who identify as aromantic asexuals don’t experience romantic attraction or sexual attraction: not all asexual people are a romantic, and not all aromantic people are asexual. The orientation, like all others, exists on a spectrum. Just because these people don’t feel romantic attraction doesn’t mean they don’t form platonic partnerships and experience intimacy like others, too.
Asexuality and relationships
But here’s the thing—just because you’re asexual, doesn’t mean you can’t foster a loving, intimate relationship. For asexuals, intimacy is simply defined beyond the realm of sex —often through cuddling, kissing, spending quality time together, and other romantic gestures.
What’s more, if one partner identifies as asexual and the other doesn’t, it can still be possible to have a healthy long-term relationship. Of course, communication is key in that case—especially if it involves the possibility of ethical non-monogamy for the sexually active partner—but an asexual may even find satisfaction in pleasuring their partner sexually, even if they don’t experience pleasure themselves.
That’s right—just because a person identifies as asexual, that doesn’t mean that they abstain from sex or any kind of foreplay. The vast majority of asexuals have had some kind of sexual experience. Research by the Kinsey Institute published in 2020 found that, in a study of 1,093 ace-identifying adults, 98% reported that they had had sex, by their definition. Among asexuals, 33% reported having received oral sex, and 27% had penile-vaginal intercourse. Although most participants reported that they were interested in engaging in sexual activities in the future, 31% said that they would be willing to have sex if that was something their partner wanted.
Every person who identifies as asexual may respond to sex differently: Some people, lacking any feelings of sexual pleasure, are sex-neutral. Others have more adverse feelings about sex. In the Kinsey Institute study, 34% of participants said they were unlikely to engage in sexual behaviors in the future due to feelings of disinterest or disgust.
There are some sexual (or, at least, intimate) behaviors that a majority of asexual people may enjoy, though, according to the Kinsey Institute’s survey. Of participants, more than 70% said they were actively interested in cuddling in the future.
Dating while asexual
Dating while asexual may come with challenges, but couples of all sexual orientations may experience differing levels of sexual desire and different preferences about the frequency of sexual interactions. Asexuality can still be largely misunderstood by people who don’t identify with it, as a 2018 article from The Verge noted, which means some asexual people may prefer not to share the label upfront, instead of describing their more exact preferences in person or while in conversation, to stop others from jumping to conclusions that may or may not be correct. While there are some dating apps for asexual people, like Asexual Cupid, the pools on these platforms can be small—so some people may prefer apps that allow for more personality-sharing and less rapid-fire swiping, like OkCupid.
If you’re looking for a sense of community, you can find asexual groups around you through Aces and Aros , and online through the Asexual Visibility and estesparkrentals.com Education Network . You can also connect with people on Discord channels, like that of the podcast Sounds Fake But Okay .
Asexuality and masturbation
A lack of sexual desire doesn’t mean a person has a lack of sexual function: http://edudoctors.com Some asexual people can still experience sexual pleasure, even if it’s not stimulated by lust or sexual desire of another person, according to human sexuality researcher Anthony F. Bogaert, author of the book Understanding Asexuality : “Some asexual people still have some level of what I call ‘non-directed desire’ towards others,” he told HuffPost in 2016. “There may be a kind of lustful feeling that’s not connected directly to other people and they may feel the need to release and have some kind of non-specific or non-directed sexual desire towards others, and therefore they may still masturbate.”
Asexuality and medical concerns
Asexuality is a sexual orientation, meaning that it has no direct cause—it’s a part of someone’s identity. If a person experiences a sudden disinterest in sex, or gradually finds themself not looking forward to sexual activities, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re asexual, though. A lack of interest in sex can be caused by several factors, including depression, medication, trauma, and medical issues like arthritis and high blood pressure. If your interest in sex is something that has changed over time, consider talking to your doctor about any external (or internal) factors that could be affecting your feelings of desire and sexual function. Don’t be afraid to speak up: A healthy sense of intimacy—in whatever sense is most comfortable and fulfilling to you—is a part of a healthy life.
Condom access through the ages.
A brief history from contraband contraceptives to casual sex.
Maybe you’ve restocked your condom stash from the supply of single-use prophylactics on display outside your RAs dorm room. Maybe you grab a handful of rubbers from a bin every time you visit your favored local dive bar. Perhaps you’ve had the same box of Trojans in your sock drawer since puberty. In any case, no matter your methods of prophylactic procurement, it’s no secret that condoms are widely available across the country—and often, they’re even free .
That wasn’t always the case though. In the 18th century, the idea that you might reach an arm blindly in any direction and land on a complimentary condom was all but ludicrous. So, how did casually distributed contraception come to be? And despite our current near unlimited access, why are we using them less than ever?
Contraband Contraception
You may be surprised to learn that contraception was around long before the 20th century. In fact, throughout the latter half of the 1800s, condoms were pretty widely available. You could find them in pharmacies, doctor’s offices, https://yds-online.com/spotlight/discuss/index.php/community/profile/milagrosmargare even mail-order catalogs. But in 1873, all that changed with the passage of the Comstock Act—a decree that made it illegal to send any article “for the prevention of conception” through the mail (for ethical reasons). Soon after, contraception became far more difficult to locate—and deeply stigmatized to sell. So naturally, the business moved underground. Entrepreneurs like Julius Schmid built condom “start-ups” vending rubbers of all kinds in coy packaging calling them things like sheaths, skins, or “rubber goods for gents” rather than tools for preventing pregnancy. And while they couldn’t legally advertise , they were still doing substantial business under the table.
‘Bring our boys home.’
By the time World War I was underway, the health hazards of unprotected sex https://cumshotsgif.com/ had become obvious: Circa 1917, nearly 380,000 American soldiers had been diagnosed with some form of VD (costing the U.S. more than $50 million in treatment)—which gave way to a full-on epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases. Fortunately, that gave the government cause to start treating contraceptives like legitimate healthcare essentials: In 1927, the military’s senior medical officers started promoting condom distribution and educational programs for members of the army and navy. Free of charge, condoms were dispatched amongst military men—and as a result, there was a notable decline in STIs—which made the American military among the first major U.S. organizations to support the normalization of condom usage (at the time, the Catholic church was not pleased. Actually, they’re still not pleased).
A 1936 Ruling
In 1932, American birth control activist Margaret Sanger arranged for the first official U.S. shipment of diaphragms from Japan, which U.S. customs wouldn’t allow. Fortunately, that gave way to a 1936 ruling from the federal appeals court claiming that the federal government could not interfere with any doctor’s right to provide contraception to their patients. And by 1938, over 300 birth control clinics were providing contraception (condoms included) to women who couldn’t afford it, free of charge.
Condoms behind bars
In 1937, by the time World War II had arrived, to fight venereal disease, the FDA instituted national standards for condom testing—which both helped to legitimize the industry and allowed for quality control amongst condom producers. And for soldiers, that meant sets of three condoms sold for ten cents at “pro stations” placed around army bases.
If you consult military travel guides from the war, alongside famous attractions and churches, you’ll find a guide to “Pro Stations,” each marched with a little devil.
That said, even with new sanctions, for those not at war, the taboo around condoms remained. Rubbers were stigmatized –– which meant vendors didn’t want to put them on display. So instead, at bars and pharmacies, you’d find funny little countertop display cases designed to hold condoms –– complete with bars, or *modesty doors* to ” protect women and children from the scandalous condom tins inside. ”
Condom as the most popular form of contraception
Here’s the good news: Even while condoms weren’t kosher socially, business was still booming. On the commercial side, sales were doing just fine: From 1955 to 1965, 42% of Americans of reproductive age relied on condoms for birth control, and prophylactic production doubled between 1939 and 1946.
The AIDS Crisis
When the AIDS crisis struck —the New York Times first reported that the disease could be sexually transmitted in 1981. In turn, the surgeon general proposed a push for greater condom promotion programs, but Reagan (among many others) opposed, claiming we ought to still preach abstinence—a decree that was dripping with homophobia.
Condoms go mainstream
Fortunately, though, condom companies across the country were still advertising in mainstream media. They were mailing informational pamphlets to young Americans. And around that time, condoms were newly for sale at all kinds of commonplace retailers: supermarkets, Wal-Marts, concert venues.
STD & HIV rates go down
In 2003, ONE began releasing their individually wrapped, round-packaged condoms—and in cities and states across the country, various initiatives were launched to increase access. HIV/AIDS rates had lowered dramatically since the early ‘90s, and local health care systems were finding that the costs of free condom distribution were far smaller than those of the health care bills for folks who contracted the virus. There was no hard and fast rule at play—and https://elearning.ims-schulungen.de still, condom distribution varies geographically—but in major coastal cities, especially New York City and San Francisco, it became entirely commonplace to find gratis condoms in any major social venue.
Present tense prophylactics
In recent years, while public discourse around sex has certainly skyrocketed, condom sales have not. In fact, from 2007 to 2017, condom use among U.S. high school students fell from 62 percent to 54 percent, according to the CDC. The CDC also reported that, in 2017, there were 200,000 more diagnoses of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis than the previous year. And according to a 2019 survey conducted by Cosmopolitan and non-profit, Power to Decide , 60% of respondents admitted they rarely or never use a condom—and 50% said they’d never (EVER) used one. Now, it would seem obvious that this is the result of more readily available methods of birth control. The prevalence of IUDs, hormonal patches, and “the pill” quells fears of unwanted pregnancy—and it would seem that that particular safety net makes it easy to indulge in coitus sans contraception (without all the guilt). But the numbers don’t lie: Whether or not we’re seeing a rise in unwanted pregnancy, we are being flagrant with our sexual health by nixing condoms from our regimens. We’ve come a long way since *modesty doors.* How can we do the condom legacy justice?
How to have great phone sex.
Here’s our maudern guide to giving good aural.
Long-distance relationships can be tricky for many reasons, not least of which is that it can be difficult to keep the sexual spark alive. And while the thought of it might make you cringe, phone sex https://gifacefuck.com/ is an excellent way to keep those home fires burning.
What is phone sex, exactly? That’s up to your interpretation—but basically, it’s any kind of dirty talk over the phone. It may or may not involve the removal of clothes, intimate touching, taking and sending photos, the use of toys, costumes, etc. Really: To each their own. The best phone sex is phone sex that you and your partner equally enjoy, www.32acp.com and it can require a little bit of experimentation to determine what really gets you both off when you’re not even in the same room as each other.
That said, if you’ve never done the digital dirty before, you might be wondering where to start—so consider this a guide on how to have good phone sex, whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or not.
Amp up anticipation.
Especially when it’s not a regular thing, it can be awkward to bring up the topic of phone sex out of the blue. Instead, give your partner a little hint that it might be on the cards via a flirty text telling them you can’t wait to hear their voice tonight or that you’ve been thinking about them all day. Or, since it’s much easier to say something via text, you could even get straight to the point and tell them that’s what you’re planning—that way you both have all afternoon to think about it. You can even think of it like a date; it’s something to look forward to.
Don’t forget to set the mood.
Even though you can’t be with your partner physically, you can still set the mood to be a little more romantic. Dim the lights, ditch those sweatpants, put on something that makes you feel desirable (unless, of course, sweatpants actually do make you feel sexy), and light a candle for a little bit of ambiance.
You’ve got to get creative.
The more detailed and vivid you are with your descriptions, the more you’ll stimulate your partner’s—and your own—imagination. To make it easier, ask leading questions, like how they want you to touch them, where they want you to put your tongue, etc. Or start with a “confession” about something you’ve always wanted them to do to you and then describe it in detail.
Brush up on your grammar.
Oh, but grammar isn’t sexy, we hear you say? Well, phone sex is a whole lot better when you use active verbs to describe things—suck, twist, stroke, tickle, pull, thrust, lick, caress … you get the picture.
Expand your vocabulary.
Grammar is important; so, too, is vocabulary. If you’re not much of a talker in bed, you might want to brush up on R-rated lingo that you don’t feel silly saying. Think about how a word feels in your mouth (metaphorically, in this instance); what’s your preferred slang word for a penis? Vagina? Breasts? Chances are, their proper medical names won’t sound the most natural or sexy when you’re talking in bed.
Read aloud.
Reading can expand your horizons. And when it comes to phone sex, it can save the day when you’re not sure what exactly to say. If you have a long-distance lover, you might enjoy reading an erotic novel together over the phone, but poems work great, too. If you’re a history buff, start here , or if you want something a bit more romance, find more about erotica writing here . Bonus: As you read, you’ll get a better sense of sexy grammar and vocab—so if, and when, you do decide to try out some dirty talk yourself, you’ll be well more equipped to let the words flow.
Let the fantasies fly.
Since you won’t need to worry about the actual physical logistics, phone sex is the perfect opportunity to indulge your wildest fantasies . So say, for elearn.skywalkdrobotics.com example, you’ve always wanted to get it on in a restaurant booth, or up against the library stacks—things that, you know, could get you arrested for public indecency. Phone sex gives you the chance to go wild with that fantasy without fear of getting a criminal record. Plus, when you’re describing a fantasy scenario, it gives you a little bit more to work with description-wise—so if you’re nervous that you might not have the creative streak to have great phone sex, working with an imaginary setting can be helpful. For instance, if you’re telling your partner how badly you want to take them to a fancy restaurant bathroom, you can set the scene: Would you lock the door? Would you set your partner against the sink? Or would you both squeeze into the stall? It doesn’t have to feel like you’re in Creative Writing 101, but working with a scene can help loosen you up.
Try roleplaying.
Not only does location not matter when you’re having phone sex, but you can also take the opportunity to take on a wholly different character with some roleplaying. Whether you’ve always dreamt of getting it on Game of Thrones–style , or you have a hankering for a sexy doctor/patient encounter, sometimes pretending to be someone else can actually make you feel less self-conscious. Roleplaying can also help keep things moving because you have a scenario to follow, rather than just trying to think of things to say off the top of your head. You could begin by setting the scene and describing your character’s personality before moving into the more sordid side of things.
Play it like a game of tennis.
Just as sex IRL should be a reciprocal thing, make sure you take it in turns to do the talking. And like you would in any good conversation, try to respond affirmatively to what your partner is saying. The occasional sigh, mmm-hmmm, moan, or heavy breathing will do—just remember that since they may not be able to see you, you’ll need to let them know what’s working.
When in doubt, just whisper.
Trust us, pretty much anything can sound sexy if you whisper it slowly and keep your voice low (try it now, saying “I’m going out to buy some milk and bread,” and you’ll see what we mean). Of course, you might want to practice it beforehand, so that you feel comfortable with it. Another trick to warm things up is to start by reading a passage from an erotica novel out loud—well, in a whisper—and then transitioning into your fantasies. Talking slowly can also be helpful, from a seduction point of view and on a practical level: It gives you a little more time to think about what exactly you want to say next.
Revisit the past.
Think back to a time when you and your partner had really hot sex—perhaps you joined the mile-high club , or went for a literal roll in the hay at that cute little farm stay in the Hudson Valley. Phone sex is a great opportunity to relive that experience and describe exactly what it was that made it so hot. You can also embellish a little to make it even sexier—after all, it’s your fantasy. Alternatively, you can look forward to the future: What are you going to do the moment you see your partner next? (Or, in a more fantasy version of real life, what would you do?)
Set your boundaries
Phone sex, as previously mentioned, is a great way to explore some of your wilder fantasies, like role-playing. But it’s important to establish what, exactly you’re comfortable with; just because you and your partner aren’t engaging in physical intimacy doesn’t mean that everything is on limits.
Of course, you might not know that you have a boundary until it’s been crossed—and https://cutelariahk.com.br your partner has no way of knowing that you don’t like something unless you tell them. If they use a name you don’t like or say something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can redirect them clearly, without completely stopping them— Cosmopolitan calls it a ” detour .” You can do this by having a safe word, or by simply saying, “Let’s go back to when you…” Debriefing with your partner about what you liked and what you didn’t like is a good way to know that you’re on the same page for the future.
Have fun.
If you’re not used to talking dirty, phone sex can feel awkward and a little bit cheesy. So just roll with it and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourselves, but be careful not to make fun of your partner’s attempts at it in a way that might make them self-conscious. Remember: it might take a little practice for it to feel natural, but that doesn’t mean it has to be something that’s totally off the table.
Need some ideas for your foray into phone sex? Our beginner’s guide to talking dirty is a good place to start.
Sex & cinema: iconic on-screen firsts
From the earliest female orgasm to Hollywood’s initial, groundbreaking sex scene.
Sex on screen https://creampiesgif.com/ is hardly taboo in the era of Love Island and OnlyFans. We’re all but used to a little full-frontal nudity on our primetime television shows –– and not just in the post-marital “making love” sense. In the past two decades, we’ve entered a new age of cinema: We’re witnessing forms of straight, queer and interracial intimacy. We’re following trans protagonists as they embark on sexual, coming-of-age journeys of their own. We’re witnessing kink culture in new and exciting ways.
For careked.com every great step forward in the ways sex is depicted both on television and in film, feellavish.com though, there was a trailblazer –– some starry-eyed creative taking a chance on whether or not an American audience was ready to witness newly emboldened (and often utterly truthful) depictions of sex in this day and age. That’s why we scoured the internet in search of all of history’s most iconic on-screen firsts, from interracial intimacy to full-frontal nudity. Someone had to walk so Meg Ryan could run –– by which we mean, perform a full-scale female orgasm while seated at a diner in When Harry Met Sally .
First on-screen kiss:
The May Irwin Kiss, 1896
It should come as no surprise that the first cinematic kiss took place between a Victorian couple in this old-school film depiction of a Broadway stage play.
First *erotic film*:
Le Coucher De La Mariée, 1896
1986 was a hot and heavy year for the film industry. Following the medium’s first-ever on-screen kiss was the first formally documented erotic film, which centered on a newlywed couple enjoying their wedding night. Sure, there’s no dead on intercourse (we’re talking 19th century here), but we do see the bride undress behind a screen while her husband watches and it is, well, erotic.
First on-screen sex scene:
Ecstasy, 1933
While not exactly raunchy by modern standards, this early 20th-century film stars a young Hedy Lamar –– and it was certainly ahead of its forebears at the time of its release. Even better? It also depicts the first-ever on-screen female orgasm.
First on-screen male nudity:
I Am Curious (Yellow), 1967
This racy Swedish number was wildly influential in the U.S. specifically due to its sultry nature: Thrillingly enough, it’s generally acknowledged as the first example of full-frontal male nudity.
First on-screen female nudity:
Inspiration, 1915
This silent film stars Audrey Munson, who poses in the nude for an artist –– which is true to form is that, at the time, Munson worked professionally as a nude model who just so happened to be cast in the occasional Hollywood movie.
First on-screen trans nudity:
Transparent, 2017
This killer ABC drama stars trans actress, Alexandra Billings –– who plays a close friend and confidante to the show’s protagonist. She’s depicted fully in the nude early on in the show, while her boyfriend gives her a massage, making television history in the realm of openly celebrating trans bodies.
First televised interracial kiss:
Star Trek, 1968
We have Star Trek to thank for the first televised interracial kiss, which took place in an episode titled “Plato’s Stepchildren.” In the episode, Lieutenant Uhura and Captain Kirk are pressured to embrace by a team of aliens, and it aired just one year after the Supreme Court struck down states’ bans on interracial marriage.
First interracial movie kiss:
The Crimson Kimono, 1959
While a handful of interracial kisses made it to the big screen around this time, many depicted white actors, made up to look “ethnic”. That said, 1959’s The Crimson Kimono was the Hollywood production to feature an actual interracial kiss: between Japanese-American James Shigeta and Victoria Shaw.
First on-screen lesbian kiss:
L.A. Law, 1991
In a 1991 episode entitled “He’s A Crowd,” L.A. Law stars Michelle Green and Amanda Donahue share a kiss after a major elearning.ims-schulungen.de workplace success. While it did break new ground, plenty of folks reference the kiss as a stunt, being that neither character ends up as a lesbian (and said kiss occurred during sweeps week).
First on-screen gay kiss:
Dawsons Creek, 2000
In the season 3 finale of the oh so iconic Dawson’s Creek, we see queer history being made when Jack (Kerr Smith) makes the dramatic journey to Boston to declare his love for Ethan (Adam Kaufman) –– after which they share a stunning, romantic kiss for the first time on network television.
First interracial sex scene:
100 Rifles, 1969
This popular action flick starring Jim Brown and Raquel Welch features a steamy hotel sex scene –– just one year after television’s first interracial kiss.
First lesbian sex scene:
Personal Best, 1982
From director-screenwriter Robert Towne, this major, mainstream production centered around a young (hot) athlete (Mariel Hemingway) who falls in love with her teammate (Patrice Donnelly) –– and, well, the rest speaks for itself.
First televised lesbian sex scene
: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, 2003
This cult-favorite serial ran for seven seasons –– and in that final season, we witness none other than the first-ever lesbian sex scene in broadcast TV history, which takes place between characters Willow and Kennedy who have long maintained a heated romantic subplot.
First cinematic gay sex:
Another Country, 1984
Ultimately about an affair between two boys at a strict British boarding school, this ‘80s flick follows a young Rupert Everett and his dashing love interest, Cary Elwes. The sex itself is cut, throughout, with flashbacks and cinematic transitions, all of which render the scene….a bit evasive. But, in reality, this has long been the norm. In fact, it’s oft-cited that 2019’s Rocketman , the Elton John biopic, is the first-ever major Hollywood motion picture to display an authentic gay sex scene.
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