The Magician suggests your friend is feeling the need to change something and to transform the situation.
Dear Oracle,
I (38F) have been good friends with Louie (38M) for nearly 20 years, since college. We’ve lived in the same city for the past 10 years, and even though we’re busy, we still make time to see each other. Louie has been dating “Clare”(45F) for four years. Clare really wants us to be friends, and I am friendly with her when we’re all out together, or my husband and I invite them over for dinner. But…I wouldn’t consider her a friend. A few months ago, Clare called and asked if she could come over to talk. I thought something was wrong with Louie, so I said yes. She came over, drank a bottle of my wine, and talked about how she thinks she might have to break up with Louie because he hasn’t proposed. (I kept asking her, “Do you think there’s someone else you could talk to about this?”) About a month ago, when we all went out in a large group, Clare didn’t speak to me the whole night, screamed at Louie, and fled in an Uber when she said she was going to the bathroom. Louie sobbed the rest of the night. While I’ve reached out to him, I haven’t heard from him since. Last week, I ran into a friend of Clare’s, and asked how everything was going and if things were alright between her and Louie. Clare called me TWENTY-THREE times over five days. When I finally answered, she was FURIOUS that I BETRAYED her by “TALKING SHIT” about her and her relationship. I didn’t! Now, I have no idea what to do. This feels like an insane trip back to high school. I love my friend. I want him to be happy. But what am I supposed to do with this girl?—Exhausted
Cards: Knight of Cups, The Magician, Four of Cups, Five of Swords
Dear Exhausted,
I know exactly how you feel. For more than a decade, one of my nearest and dearest friends has been a straight dude. Over the years, a new girlfriend or another would “confide” in me about all of their issues with him/their relationship, which led me to a three-fold problem: 1.) I don’t know what they want me to do about it. 2.) I have to decide if I share this shit talk with my friend. 3.) I now know this girl doesn’t realize that our “friendship” is completely contingent on her dating my buddy.
It’s a very weird place to be in. But none of those girls ever bombarded me with phone calls, so you got me there.
I’m sure you know this, but for the record, Clare’s behavior is not OK. It wasn’t OK for her to come to you and talk shit about your friend, it wasn’t OK for the public shouting match/escape in the night, and it wasn’t OK for her to harass you like that with phone calls.
You do not owe this woman a friendship. You do not owe her an explanation of why you’re checking in on your friend of two decades. You’re under no obligation to entertain her at your home moving forward.
If Clare is this emotionally volatile with you, she’s certainly been this way with Louie, and you’ve seen how it’s upset him. You should be there for your friend as he evaluates his relationship…which the cards seem to point to.
As the romantic partner (Knight of Cups), Louie is becoming disillusioned and depressed in his relationship (Four of Cups), is seeing this high conflict, ego-driven fight play out again and again (Five of Swords), and is feeling the need to change something and to transform the situation (The Magician.) If he’s been in this pattern for four years, he might need a lifeline to start that transformation. Keep reaching out, keep telling that you love him and you’re there for him.
Our culture has this sort of laissez-faire attitude that we shouldn’t comment on our friends’ relationships because “it’s whatever makes them happy.”
But, sometimes what we really need is for a trusted friend to ask us: “Are you happy?” Because we are all masters of lying to ourselves when need be. We can turn a blind eye to glaring issues, hope things will be different this time, and pretend we’re not upset when we are.
Honest, simple questions like “Are you happy?” or “Is this what you want?” can be deeply shaking to someone lost in the haze of toxic love.
That nearest and dearest friend of mine? Long ago, I told him I was going to tell my shit boyfriend that he needed to treat me with respect. My friend simply said, “I don’t think you should have to ask for respect in a relationship.” It was like being shot through with lightning. He was right, profoundly so. I’ve never forgotten it.
Again, keep reaching out to Louie. He might be embarrassed by his or Clare’s reaction and want to hide. Invite him—and only him—out for something like a show or a movie, anything where you can be quiet for a while. The lack of pressure to talk might make him feel more comfortable to open up.
And if and when he starts opening up, don’t be judgmental. No, “She a fucking psycho, dude.” Ask questions that help Louie look inward. If you need to say something about your feelings, frame it with “I” statements, like “I don’t like seeing you getting yelled at.” You can tell him what Clare has said to you—but, again, do so delicately.
The Magician symbolizes great work. It probably won’t be easy or quick for Louie to figure out his next steps. Be kind. Show him compassion and patience. Be tactful in your honesty. If he and Clare somehow work this out, you can decide if you want to spend time with her then. But until then, you don’t need to answer those calls.
Ari Chi, who plays Shuffle in Tampa, Florida on March 15, 2024.
Kicking off Shuffle’s weekend-long, six-year anniversary party, Seek the Light Media—a woman-owned media company run by Creative Loafing Tampa Bay contributor Yvonne Gougelet—is hosting its first-ever Women In Music Showcase this weekend.
A press release notes that along with March being National Women’s Month, the acoustic-based event—which includes a set from uke-weilding songwriter Ari Chi—was partially inspired by the need to raise awareness around a constant lack of diversity on gig lineups.
There’s no cover to get into the Women In Music Showcase happening on Friday, March 15, but donations to keep Tampa’s beloved woman-owned shuffleboard hotspot up and running will be greatly appreciated.
To close out its anniversary weekend, Shuffle—located at 2612 N Tampa St.—welcomes Lauris Vidal, his one-man band, a special “Tom Waits giving a hug to Paul Simon” vocal style, along with Tribal Style—the reggae roots outfit that came up in the Southern California scene before becoming a staple in the Bay area.
There’s no cover for any of the Shuffle six-year anniversary concerts happening Friday-Saturday, March 15-16 at Tampa Shuffle. Subscribe to Creative Loafing newsletters.
Six local projects that encompass everything from uplifting South St. Petersburg communities to clean energy initiatives will benefit from U.S. Rep. Kathy Castor’s federal appropriations success.
The congresswoman recently secured $14 million in area Community Priority Grants, with $5.5 million directly benefitting St. Petersburg organizations. Castor was particularly proud of receiving $1.5 million – her full ask – for the Enoch Davis Center.
The facility at 111 18th Ave. S. is named after a prominent local civil rights activist. Mayor Ken Welch called the center “vital but dated” when he announced plans in May 2023 to transform it into a state-of-the-art community hub.
“I love that one because I’m at the Enoch Davis Center a lot,” Castor told the Catalyst. “Those modern, up-to-date community centers are more important than ever.”
The federal grant will fund assessment, pre-construction and energy-efficiency costs. Welch previously noted the facility’s expansive upgrades will support neighborhood health and safety and provide “technology and tools to excel in our competitive 21st-century economy.”
Castor explained that the Inflation Reduction Act also allows local governments and organizations to receive rebates for sustainability efforts, like solar panels. “When you help the city save money, you help our neighbors save money, too,” she said.
“So, you’re going to see those kinds of investments … really ramp up,” Castor added. “And boy, do we need it – because our electric bills are out of sight.”
She also secured over $1.1 million for the Pinellas Suncoast Transit Authority. The agency will use the money to convert its bus fleet to electric motors.
The federal funding will also help PSTA electrify its St. Petersburg Pier tram system. Castor called it a “great demonstration” of clean energy benefits due to the vehicles’ “high profile.”
“I was out there on The Pier about a week and a half ago, and they run all the time,” she said. “They’re gas-powered. And if you’re sitting behind the engine, it’s not great.”
From left, PSTA CEO Brad Miller and Congresswoman Kathy Castor discuss the SunRunner service with local resident and frequent rider Christopher Winters. Photo by Ashley Morales.
The University of South Florida St. Petersburg emerged as a big winner in the grant cycle. The Coastal Resilience Data Visualization Center at the College of Marine Science and the Disrupt Human Trafficking Data Project will each receive $963,000.
Coastal Resilience Center officials will use the funding for scientific planning, threat simulations and public outreach activities. Castor noted the city and state are particularly vulnerable to more frequent and intense storms and sea-level rise.
In addition, the nation experienced the hottest February in recorded history. Castor said people need up-to-date information on where to build and live safely.
“Hopefully, this informs policymakers to help them steer development away from the most dangerous areas,” she said. “It comes back to how people are feeling in their pocketbooks, with insurance costs. We really have to give people better tools and a better understanding of what a changing climate will mean for them.”
USFSP’s Trafficking in Person’s (TIP) Risk to Resilience Research Lab will use the Community Grant funding to develop a statewide data repository called TIPSTR. The program will assist law-enforcement investigations, mitigate gaps in victim services, develop prevention programs and help discern the problem’s magnitude.
An $850,000 grant will support the Deuces Rising development, formerly the Sankofa project. It will provide 24 homeownership opportunities along the 22nd Street South (the Deuces) corridor for those earning below 80% of the area median income.
The public subsidy for each unit in the long-discussed development is just under $500,000. Castor said she “thought it was worthwhile to try to help lower the cost of the affordable housing portion.”
“This may turn out to be a one-two punch,” Castor added. “It (funding) is not at the level I sought. If it will qualify next year, I may come back and try to do another tranche for that.”
The Pinellas County Urban League will receive $81,130 for new computers and updated technological infrastructure. The goal is to increase reliable digital access to bolster economic opportunities in underserved communities.
Castor called the Urban League one of her “most valuable partners” in St. Pete. She said organizational leadership relayed their struggle to keep pace with continuously evolving technology.
Castor said securing the funding was easy as it aligned with congressional economic development initiatives. She also noted that the Urban League plays a prominent role in lowering local electricity costs by helping low-income residents weatherize their homes.
“The summers are so hot and go on for a longer period of time, and that impacts you if you work outside and want to enjoy our beautiful Sunshine City,” Castor said. “I don’t hear the climate skeptics that I used to … because the economics of it are right in front of them.”
U.S. Rep. Kathy Castor was named the American Council on Renewable Energy’s Renewable Energy Champion in March 2023. Photo provided.
St. Patrick’s Day is around the corner once again, and it’s always the best excuse to get a little buck-wild in between the forced romance of Valentine’s Day and the moral obligation of Easter and Mother’s Day. Dozens of bars, restaurants and other venues throughout Tampa Bay are throwing a wide range of parties, street festivals, brunches and even kid-friendly festivities to celebrate the beloved drinking holiday—and here are the best 20-ish celebrations we could find.
Did we miss your St. Patrick’s Day party? Submit your event to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s calendar, then email [email protected] to be added to this event roundup.
The ‘Biggest’ St. Paddy’s Day Party Palm Harbor’s go-to deli hosts a full week of food specials and live entertainment to commemorate its favorite holiday—from drinking tunes from The Irish Ramblers to bagpipe performances and traditional Irish step dance. Indulge in classic Lucky Dill dishes like its reuben egg rolls, hot pastrami sandwiches and corned beef and cabbage, plus whiskey tastings and giveaways on select days. Tuesday-Sunday, March 12-17. No cover. Various times. Lucky Dill Deli, 33180 US Highway 19 N, Palm Harbor. @LuckyDillDeli on Facebook
21st Annual MacPatrick Fest South Tampa hotspot MacDinton’s Irish Pub has been hosting its multi-day St. Patrick’s Day celebration for the past 21 years, and that just may be the median age of partygoers at 2024’s installment this weekend. Each day features its own drink specials, themes and giveaways, but Sunday’s “Green Kegs” breakfast, open bar and live entertainment is certainly the fest’s finale. Thursday-Sunday, March 14-17. 11 a.m.-3 a.m. $15 & up. MacDinton’s Irish Pub, 405 S Howard Ave., Tampa. macdintons.com
St. Paddy’s Punk & Roll Cage Brewing hosts its own mini-fest featuring over 15 local musicians that will take turns sharing its outdoor stage this weekend, plus booze-friendly eats courtesy of Kraken Joe’s Pizza. Friday-Sunday, March 15-17. Various times. No cover (RSVP encouraged.) Cage Brewing, 2001 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. cagebrewing.com
St. Patrick’s Weekend & Irish Coffee Stout Release Move over green beer, there’s a new holiday brew in town. Crooked Thumb Brewery releases its exclusive Irish Coffee Stout, plus live music and food trucks all weekend-long. Friday-Sunday, March 15-17. Various times. No cover. Crooked Thumb Brewery, 555 10th Ave S, Safety Harbor. crookedthumbbrew.com.
Sips & Shenanigans Brunch Get some grub before Tampa’s River O’Green festival at Melting Pot Social’s special holiday brunch, complete with bottomless green mimosas, corned beef and cabbage and other classic brunch fare. Saturday, March 16. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. $40. Melting Pot Social, 105 West Tyler St., Tampa. meltingpotsocial.com
Corey Avenue Street Party 2024’s rendition of this annual block party coincides with one of its longtime sponsors, Swigwam Beach Bar, but this all-day St. Patrick’s Day gig will definitely continue throughout Corey Avenue’s 300 Block. Soggy Bottom Boys, Beach Rats and Full Throttle provide entertainment. Saturday, March 16. 10 a.m.-11 p.m. No cover. 300 Block of Corey Avenue, St. Pete Beach. @SwigwamBeachBar on Facebook.
St. Patrick’s Day Party & Mini-golf Tournament Largo’s resident farm and petting zoo hosts way more than kid’s birthday parties, as evidenced by its debut St. Patrick’s Day celebration this weekend. Flex your putting skills at its mini-golf tournament or relax with a beer and plate of corned beef and cabbage. Saturday, March 16. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. No cover (farm tours cost $10 per person). DK Farms & Gardens, 1750 Lake Ave SE, Largo. dkfarmsandgardens.com
Get Lucky Block Party Whiskey shots out of an ice luge and an open bar from 5 p.m.-7p.m. are the main draws of Bar HWRD’s holiday banger, which can either be a launching pad or end cap for a night of partying in South Tampa. Saturday, March 16. 5 p.m.-3 a.m. $10-$20. Bar HWRD, 302 South Howard Ave., Tampa. barhwrdtampa.com
River O’Green The City of Tampa’s family-friendly river-dyeing party returns to Curtis Hixon Park this weekend with kid activities, live entertainment, food trucks and green beer (for the parents.) Saturday, March 16. 11 a.m.-6 p.m. No cover. Curtis Hixon Park, 600 N Ashley Dr., Tampa. tampasdowntown.com
St. Patrick’s Day Bash by the Beach This beach-adjacent hotel hosts a night filled with whiskey tastings, perfectly poured pints of Guinness, live music and Irish-themed cocktails. 7Saturday-Sunday, March 16-17. Noon-8 p.m. No cover, Eventbrite RSVP recommended. Wyndham Grand Clearwater Beach, 100 Coronado Dr.,Clearwater. wyndhamgrandclearwater.com
2nd Annual Paddyfest Perhaps one of the most—if not the most—kid-friendly St. Patrick’s Day celebrations returns to the heart of St. Pete this weekend, with tons of activities and entertainment in tow. Paddyfest St. Pete hosts a multitude of festivities including dozens of local vendors, food trucks slinging both Irish and American fare, whiskey tastings, a dedicated kids zone, live music and dancing, a wide variety of brews on tap and athletic performances from FSA Highland, a Florida-based organization that specializes in traditional Scottish sports like shot put, caber toss and sheaf toss. Saturday-Sunday, March 16-17. Noon-9 p.m. No cover. Williams Park, 330 2nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. paddyfeststpete.com
Mary Margaret’s St. Patrick’s Weekend This Central Avenue-adjacent bar offers Irish vibes year-round, but they’re usually kicked up a notch during its weekend-long party, which includes live music, bagpipers, specials like corned beef and cabbage and tons of Guinness to wash it all down. Saturday-Sunday, March 16-17. 9 a.m.-3 a.m. No cover. 29 3rd St. N, St. Petersburg. marymargarets.com
St. Patrick’s Weekend Both days of Slizzy Mcgees’ annual party features live music from Flo-Raw and Stealing Crowns, local food trucks, specials on traditional Irish fare and of course, tons of booze. Saturday-Sunday, March 16-17. 11 a.m.-3 a.m. No cover. Slizzy Mcgee’s, 1159 62nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. @Slizzymcgees on Facebook
St Patrick’s Day Bar Crawl This bar crawl throughout The ‘Burg kicks off at Welcome to the Farm and continues at various neighboring bars in downtown St. Pete. Ticket holders get drinks at each stop, access to food specials and specialty, holiday-themed cocktails. Sunday, March 17. $9.99 & up. Welcome To The Farm, 242 1st Ave. N St Petersburg. pubcrawls.com
St. Patrick’s Day Open Mic Night A nice, sober or low-key option for St. Patrick’s Day if barhopping and late nights isn’t your jam. RSVPs are recommended for this free-to-attend open mic night with craft beer, wine and kava available for purchase. Sunday, March 17. 3 p.m.-8 p.m. No cover. The Village Courtyard, Beach Boulevard South Gulfport. @villagecourtyard on Facebook
Flanagan’s St. Patrick’s Day Street Festival Billed as one of the “largest St. Patrick’s Day festivals in Florida,” Flanagan’s annual party features a full lineup of music and entertainment from noon-8 p.m. and lots of flowing green beer. Sunday, March 17. 11 a.m.-11 p.m. No cover. Flanagan’s Irish Pub, 465 Main St., Dunedin. @flanagansirishpub on Facebook
8th Annual Block Party If you aren’t ready to stop drinking after Paddyfest at Williams Park, then head to The Galley’s annual festivity complete with live music, plenty of Guinness, whiskey and Irish food specials. Sunday, March 17. 11:30 a.m.-3 a.m. No cover. The Galley, 27 4th Street N , St. Petersburg. @TheGalleyDTSP on Facebook
Sober St. Patrick’s Day No hangover, no problem. This Clearwater kava house hosts a laid-back holiday party filled with N/A drink specials and screenings of St. Patrick’s Day-themed movies. Sunday, March 18. 8 p.m.-midnight. No cover. Kava House Brand, 11141 US Highway 19 N #408 Clearwater. kavahousebrand.com
St. Patrick’s Day at Caddy’s on the Beach Caddy’s locations on Indian Rocks Beach (20025 Gulf Blvd.), Madeira Beach (14080 Gulf Blvd.), Treasure Island (9000 W Gulf Blvd.) and Johns Pass (190 Boardwalk PI.) all host their own holiday parties with cheap drinks, raffles, giveaways, live entertainment and free green tea shots for anyone rocking the color of the evening. Sunday, March 17. 11 a.m.-1 a.m. No cover. Various locations. caddys.com
O’Briens Irish Pub’s annual St. Patrick’s Event Step dancers, bagpipers and local acts like Noodles Magoo, The Headbang, Wyndbreakers and Nicaea provide the entertainment this weekend at Carollwood’s O’Briens Irish Pub, which just celebrated its 33rd anniversary. Sunday, March 17. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. $20. O’Briens Irish Pub, 15435 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. obrienspubstampa.com
O’Maddy’s Annual Waterfront Party Waterfront gulfport pub O’Maddy’s hosts one of the most popular St. Patrick’s Day parties each March, and 2024’s rendition offers plenty of flowing green beer, Irish fare and music from Pete & Dean Trio, Horses Wild and The Horny Toads. Sunday, March 17. 10 a.m.-midnight. No cover. O’Maddy’s Bar & Grille, 5405 Shore Blvd. S, Gulfport. @omaddys on Facebook